The Interview


What does it mean to elect a President?  In the end it is a job, the candidate is the interviewee and “We the People” conduct the interview.  So s you read this I want you to put on your “Business Owner” cap, put yourself across the table from a prospective employee, someone you are hiring to fill a position in your company. If you have a job to fill then you already know the criteria necessary to fill that job, the qualifications you are looking for.  You have a set of questions ready, questions that will enable you to evaluate whether or not the person you are interviewing has the chops to get the job done.  No think back over your life and over every interview you ever had, remember the bad ones, the great ones, the ones you nailed and the ones you failed.  Close your eyes and picture it and now picture Donald Trump sitting across from you interviewing for a job.  You would begin the interview by asking a very simple open ended question, something like this:

Donald: tell me a little about you.

Donald:  Well, I am awesome, people love me.  I am very smart, very smart.  I’m also rich, very rich.  People love me, especially women, I cherish women and I am very popular with women.  If you hire me I will make great deals for your company. Lets face it, you’re company is run by stupid people getting ripped off by much smarter people

Why do I know this? Because I’m very smart, smart and rich and people like me, obviously you like me because I am here and the person you had sitting here doing this job is a stupid person, I think that this company is being run by very stupid people but I am a winner who can make this company great again.

You:  Donald, what are your qualifications?

Donald: I am very smart, I went to a very prestigious school and in case you didn’t hear me I am very smart. I don't need this job really, seriously I don't but I can tell you this, I believe that I can make this company great again.  Some very stupid people have been running this place and the other guys you are interviewing are low energy not smart people.  And did you see the face on that one lady out there?  Seriously, do you see that face running this company?  And that little crippled guy out there, what is his story, he was captured and held as a prisoner of war, really?  That guy is a loser, I like people who weren’t captured by the enemy.  I was never captured by the enemy I can promise you that.  The bottom line is this, I want to make this company great again, I can do that and I think you should hire me.  And I know what you are thinking and the answer to the question you are going to ask is YES, yes this is actually my real hair, go ahead, touch it, its real, its real and its my hair. 

You:  Donald, let me give you a scenario, we have had a lot of break-ins lately and it is causing an impact to our bottom line.  What would you do to address this problem?

Donald:  I would build a wall around the building, it would be the best wall ever built.  I’m a great builder of things, built many buildings and hired many people.  Did I mention that I am both smart and very rich?  And the wall wouldn’t cost us a penny, not one cent because I would get the criminals to build it and they would pay for it.  The criminals are smart, smarter than you guys, I respect them but guess what, they respect me and I could get a great deal and they would like my deal I can promise you that.

You:  Ok Donald, our biggest competitor is killing us out there, their top guy John Smith has been meeting with Steve Johnson of XYZ Corp and they are working together.  How can you help us get a handle on maintaining our market share.

Donald:  What’s with the gotcha questions, you’re a third rate interviewer. First I know John Smith, he is a friend of mine, he loves me, did I mention I am rich and I know how to make great deals.  Speaking of great deals did you know I wrote a book called “The Art of the Deal?”  Great book, very great book.  I would do exactly what I did when I wrote that book, be awesome.  Then I would call John and this Steve guy whoever he is into my office, did I mention that I had a TV show called “The Apprentice” best show ever on TV, it was really great.  So, I would get these guys into my office and we would do a deal, the best deal ever.  Tis deal would be so amazing, just wait and see, it will be a great deal and this company will be great again, I can promise you that,

You:  What about dealing with our debt to income ratio, how would you resolve lowering our debt and restructuring our company more efficiently?

Donald:  The first day in office I would call everyone in, everyone and then I would say, Your Fired, like I did on my hit TV show “The Apprentice.”  I would fire everyone and then I would hire some amazing people to do amazing things and we will make this country Great again I can promise you that.  I would build such an amazing team that no other company would mess with us.  We would be so strong and so amazing that babies not even born yet will be afraid to start a business that might compete against us.  This company will be so great, so strong so amazing, I can promise you that.

You:  So how would you pay for this?

Donald: I would go after our top customers, these guys are ripping us off and I would charge them more and they would like it, I would make such a great deal with them that they will want to fund anything and everything I propose because I am smart, they are stupid but I respect them and they respect me because I know how to do deals.  I wrote the book on how to do deals. Smart people, me, doing great deals will make this company great again and everyone will prosper I can promise you that.


I could go on and on but here is my point.  At the end of the day we are electing not just a president but also a leader of the free world.  These are serious times, our nation is in crisis, debt has ballooned; wages are stagnate at best declining in reality.  The Middle East has fallen apart, it has become a black hole of despair and the lack of anything that resembles leadership has resulted in an explosion of anti-Americanism.  Relationships once tenuous at best have turned hostile, Russia, China, North Korea to name a few.  Here at home we are more divided today than at any point in recent history.  Divided along ideological, racial, economic and cultural lines with no one or nothing on the horizon delivering a uniting message.  Hope is disappearing as battle lines are being drawn between progressives, liberals, conservatives, black, white and brown, gay, straight legal, illegal and every other designation you can dream of.  So what is my point?  Why the interview parody?  To wake up those people who are falling in line with a candidate who says a lot but offers nothing in the way of tangible practical policy, real solutions for very real problems.  Donald Trump has offered nothing in the way of reality for me, this is my country, I love this country and I take very seriously the weight of my vote and the value of that vote.  If Mr. Trump hopes to earn my vote then he needs to offer more than hyperbolic rhetoric and canned phrases.  He needs more substance and less ego. I will be watching the debate tonight to see if the Titanic Trump mans the helm and begins to steer his ship out of the turbulent waters of self centered grandiosity and into the calm waters of real solutions for very real problems.  Of course that is just my take.